I promise I'll be back...

So I started working on something new.

It's a sketch of a random floating piece of rock with people living on it out in space. Theres a story behind it, but I've been drawing this using my netbook and wacom bamboo. Seriously a bad idea...especially since it's not very good and I could have done it in 2 hours as opposed to the 7 I've already put into it. It's just that I'm not that good with the tablet yet and lacking the rotate canvas ability that PS has in comparison to gimp, is truly and difficult thing to overcome.

I'm not very happy with my work so far, but I shall press on and finish it using the wacom and my netbook, just to say I have.

Sometimes the art itself is not the final outcome, but the steps taken to achieve your goal.

Migraine headaches FTW 0.o;

Has anyone ever asked themselves if they really had talent? Did anyone ever get an answer and then run and hide under the couch?

I haven't. But I've been wondering recently if I really have any talent at all or if I'm just really really good at faking it...even to myself 0.o;

:sigh:

Who knows..I do often wish that I was as good as some of my friends on here.

:thumb103816923: [link]
:thumb112899884: [link]
:thumb102484896: [link]
:thumb106199096: [link]

Just to name a few. Sometimes I feel like I've produced something that's pretty good, but I just don't like it as much as I like everyone else's work.

I work the normal 40 hour work week. I go to school online. I go out every now and then with my girlfriend, but I just can't sit myself down to create anything.

SO FRUSTRATING!!!!

Sometimes I think I should just stop trying, but those thoughts are taken over by ideas....BUT I CAN NEVER GET THE IDEAS INTO PHYSICAL EXISTENCE THE WAY I WANT THEM!!!

OK ok ok, I'm done ranting. I'll probably be all calmed down by the time I get home anyway.

yes, 44 miles home again...I just can't get over it. Not even after a year of doing it.

BTW the worst part is, I'm stuck using my netbook until I can figure out what the crap is wrong with my desktops. And Yes, its much harder than it sounds...I'm having power supply and board problems and I can't afford a new one of either...so I'm trying to fix them by hand with my soldering iron.

If I could find the damn thing that is.

Well, time to lockup the office and get ready to leave.

I'm leaving work in about 5 minutes and over the past 30 minutes I've begun to realize how uncreative I've been recently. I'm not playing my guitar, I'm not taking pictures, I'm not manipulating anything....I just feel down, untalented and stuck.

I've been working and started going to school full time and I quit smoking a bit over a month ago.

I haven't visited home in over a year, but I have had the chance to see my parents twice. I haven't seen any of my friends in over a year and my luck at making additional friends out here has been far from acceptable.

I'm depressed. I'm not crying or having eating problems or sleeping problems. Hell I'm still able to have fun too, but I'm definitely depressed and I don't know why.

other than the above that is.

I think I'm going to try to deviate a bit tonight...maybe it'll spark something..

Well, i need to shut down the office now and get going. 44 mile drive home in California Traffic at 7PM....shoot me..please

I love you all...goodnight.